Tormods Guide: How to build a house in Norway

lagt inn 22. des. 2011, 14:27 av Tormod Tveiterås   [ oppdatert 2. apr. 2015, 04:04 ]
1. Conquer any neighbours and other enemies by scaring them to run from where you would like to build your new house. This is me and my son, Trygve, dressed up as Vikings, the traditional norwegian method for scaring people. (Please notice our neighbour running naked from the scene in the background. )
Click to enlarge photo

2. Well, when you then spot a nice place where nobody has buildt anything before, you can decide to build a new house there.

3. As norway has many mountains, we have also a lot of rocks everywhere. You have to plan for BOMBING the place. Find a crazy guy that has some dynamite, and ask him to blow up the place. First he has to drill a lot of holes in the ground, to be able to put his dynamite down to sufficient level to create a really big BANG.

4. At this point, you are happy building a new house. You can smile, and you have no idea whatsoever about the things to come. Enjoy, enjoy, and gather strength for the rest of the housebuilding-process!
After drilling, if you do not find oil, its time to blow up the place. It can than look like this:
(Please, do not stand this close when the place blows up.)

5. As you can see, a digger can come in handy to organize the mess. If the guy is very clever organizing the rocks, we call him a "Rock and Roll artist", and the result may look like this:

6. Next step is to get hold of some wood, as in the old Beatles song: "Norwegian Wood, isn't it good?" Well, it can shurely be good. But you need help of a skilled carpenter to fit the pieces of wood as it assembles a house.

7. It has to be a 3- model, so you can look at your house from another direction.

8. Put some insulation in your walls, mount the windows, add something to cover the roof, and - viola - you're done!

Please notice the construction at sea to the left of the top right corner of the house. This is a new leg to an offshore oil-installation tugged out to the north sea by a Mearsk tug-boat.

9. To add the pittoresque norwegian atmosphere, cover the landscape with some snow, a little sunshine, and it is just marvellous!

This is where me and my family lives!